How to Talk to a Potential Match Online Without Being Cringeworthy

Introduction

Let’s be real — talking to a potential match online can make anyone nervous.

You’ve matched with someone on DigiShaadi (or any matrimonial site). Their profile looks great, your curiosity’s piqued, and you’re excited to start a conversation. You open the chat box… type “Hi”… stare at it for 10 minutes… delete… type again… Send “Hey”.

Online matchmaking has made meeting people easier, but figuring out what to say and how to say it can still feel like walking on eggshells.

The good news? You don’t need to be overly charming, poetic, or fake. The secret lies in being yourself — genuine, kind, and thoughtful.

Let’s decode how to start and sustain great conversations with your potential match online — without sounding awkward, forced, or desperate.

The First Message Matters — Make It Count

Your first message sets the tone for everything that follows. It’s your digital first impression.

If you’re still sending “Hi”, “Hello dear”, or “What’s up?”, you’re missing a golden opportunity to stand out.

Try personalised openers that show real interest:

• “I noticed you like photography — your travel shots are great! What’s been your best trip so far?”

• “You mentioned you’re a foodie — do you prefer eating out or cooking new recipes at home?”

Why it works:

• It’s specific, not generic.

• It shows you’ve read their profile.

• It opens conversation instead of hitting a wall.

Pro Tip: Avoid shallow compliments like “You’re beautiful” or “You look cute.” Appreciate personality, not appearance.

Keep It Light, Friendly, and Approachable

You’re not giving a TED Talk or an HR interview — it’s matchmaking, not a meeting.

Start with easy, light-hearted topics like:

• Movies or shows you both enjoy

• Travel stories

• Weekend activities

• Food or hobbies

Example:

• “I saw you’re a thriller fan — have you watched Mirzapur season 3 yet?”

• “Coffee or chai person? (No judgment… maybe)”

A sprinkle of humor works wonders, but keep it gentle. Avoid sarcasm or dark humor — tone can easily get misunderstood online.

3. Be Curious, Not Creepy

Curiosity shows interest. Interrogation feels invasive.

Avoid asking intrusive questions like:

• “How much do you earn?”

• “Why are you still single?”

• “Have you dated before?”

Instead, ask open-ended, friendly questions:

• “What do you usually do to relax after work?”

• “If you could visit anywhere right now, where would you go?”

• “What’s one hobby that makes you lose track of time?”

These questions help your match express themselves comfortably — showing you care about who they are, not just what they do.

Don’t Try Too Hard to Impress

You might want to sound confident and interesting, but overdoing it can make you seem rehearsed.

“I’ve travelled to 12 countries, I’m in tech, and people say I’m too good to be single.”
“I tried cooking pasta last week and ended up making soup instead.”

Small, relatable details make you more human and approachable.
Authenticity is far more attractive than perfection.

Find Common Ground and Build on It

The best conversations bloom when you share common interests.

Pay attention to what they mention in their profile or chats — it’s gold for connection.

If they mention pets:
“You have a dog? What’s her name? I’ve got a cat who thinks she owns my sofa.”

If they mention fitness:
“You do yoga? Nice! I’ve been wanting to start — any tips for beginners?”

Finding shared interests makes conversations natural and easy to sustain.

Read the Vibe — Don’t Imitate, Reflect

If they write long, expressive messages, feel free to match their energy.
If they’re more concise and formal, tone it down accordingly.

This is called mirroring — it helps your match feel comfortable and understood.
Just remember, mirror their energy, not their words.

Use Humor (and Class) to Ease Awkward Moments

Conversations sometimes stall, and that’s okay.

If a message goes unanswered or things get awkward, add a touch of humour:

• “Haha, I might have just sent the world’s most boring question ????.”

• “Did my message get lost in the chat abyss?”

It diffuses tension and keeps things light.
If they still don’t respond — don’t double-text. Give them space.

Share About Yourself (But Don’t Overshare)

Balance is key. Ask questions, but also share about yourself.

Example:

Them: “I love exploring old bookstores.”
You: “That’s awesome! There’s one near me that sells used novels for ₹50 — total treasure hunt!”

This creates natural two-way flow.

Avoid emotional oversharing too early — no ex-talk, no heavy family drama. Build comfort first.

Know the Line Between Friendly and Flirty

A little flirtation can be sweet — but only when it’s respectful.

“You have a really warm smile.”
“You look too good to be single ”

Good flirting is subtle, sincere, and non-physical.
Always prioritize respect — it speaks louder than words.

Don’t Rush the Process

Not everyone replies instantly. People have jobs, families, and responsibilities.

Avoid sending multiple follow-ups like:
“Are you there?”
“Did I say something wrong?”

Be patient. Real connections take time. The right person will want to respond.

Move the Conversation Forward Naturally

Once you’ve had a few good exchanges, it’s okay to suggest a phone or video call.

Try:
“I’ve really enjoyed our chats — would you like to have a short call sometime?”

If they’re not ready, respect that. Trust takes time to build.

When Parents Get Involved

On platforms like DigiShaadi, parents often play an active role.

If your match’s parents are part of the process, stay calm and respectful.
It’s not interference — it’s tradition and care.

How you handle family involvement speaks volumes about your maturity.

Practice Good Online Manners

A few unspoken rules make a big difference:

• Think before replying; avoid one-word or emoji-only responses.

• Protect privacy — no screenshots or sharing chats.

• Don’t ghost; politely express if you’re not interested.

• Be honest about your intentions — casual or serious.

Digital courtesy reflects your real-world character.

When the Connection Clicks — Deepen It

When conversation flows naturally, go a level deeper.
Discuss family, values, and life goals — slowly, not all at once.

Example:

• “Family is really important to me — how about you?”

• “What kind of lifestyle do you see yourself having after marriage — city or calm suburban life?”

These discussions help assess long-term compatibility — the heart of successful matchmaking.

Be Yourself — Always

This is the golden rule: authenticity wins.

You don’t need to be flawless — you just need to be real.
Genuine connections thrive on honesty, not performance.

People may forget what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.

Conclusion

Talking to a potential match online doesn’t have to be awkward — it just needs sincerity.

Start genuine, be polite, and let things flow naturally.
Online matchmaking isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection.

So next time you open that chat window, don’t stress about impressing — just be you.
That’s the honesty that builds real love stories.